Integrity

Integrity: 

1. adherence to moral and ethical principles
2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished
3. a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition

from "integer" - a complete entity; an individual entity or whole unit

What do you think of when you hear the word "integrity"? Most people think of the first meaning - "adherence to moral and ethical principles". We talk about "people of integrity". There's a song playing currently on the Christian radio station in which the artist sings, "I want to be a woman of integrity." A noble sentiment, for sure. But what does that really mean?

We know integrity includes being honest, telling the truth, doing what is right. But I want to focus on the other meanings of integrity for a moment.

"The state of being whole, entire, or undiminished." I spent a good deal of my growing up years pretending to be someone I wasn't. It was innocent, although probably annoying to my family, when I insisted I was Teresa or twins Lynette and Annette as a little girl. Unfortunately my pretence spilled over into my teen years. I didn't rename my alternate selves, but I became fluent at slipping in and out of character depending on my circumstances. I was "Maureen-the-good-little-Christian-girl" at church on Sundays. She fled on Mondays when "Maureen-the-smart-talking-shock-everybody-girl" took over. In college there was the bubbly, spinny "Mo", alternating with the serious, going-to-be-a-missionary Maureen. Hidden out of view to all but a select few was the carnal, sinful woman who couldn't reconcile her inner thoughts with what she thought everyone else perceived her to be. The Maureen created as a whole by God became a fractured entity.

I spent many years trying to balance and reconcile all the sides of me. For most of my adult life I thought I was being - and being perceived as - a "woman of integrity." Outwardly I adhered to moral and ethical principles. I didn't tell lies. I didn't cheat or deceive anyone. Anyone except myself, that is. Gradually it became more difficult to keep up appearances, to maintain the persona of who I wanted to be instead of who I really was.

A whole number - an integer - can always be divided equally. A non-integer cannot. One part of it will always be dominant. So it is with a fractured human being, a person without integrity. Eventually one side will win out - and not always the side you wish others to see! Integrity can't be faked; either you are a whole person or you're not.

One night as I sat in bed praying, I found myself trying to form my words carefully so as not to offend God. Instead of pouring out what was really in my heart I was saying what I thought God wanted to hear. Suddenly I realized the ridiculousness of what I was doing: God already knew what was going through my mind. That realization was instantly sobering. I was both ashamed and relieved. And in that moment, I took a step toward integrity.

My prayers changed to an out-loud torrent of every thought and emotion I'd tried to push down and hide for so many years. Over time, as I became whole and honest with God, I found the freedom to be whole and honest with people. The fractured sides of Maureen begin to meld into one whole being - a woman of integrity.

The third meaning of integrity is "a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition." I don't think I'll reach that level of integrity until heaven. Integrity on earth isn't perfection; it's wholeness. Honesty is more than not lying. People of integrity are honest about who they are on the inside and out. They recognize that they come as a package, good and bad, rolled into one - and they are okay with that. Integrity means not trying to hide the parts of you that you deem less desirable. That's real honesty.

Are you a person of integrity? Beyond just doing what is deemed morally or ethically right, are you a whole person? Have you allowed God to reconcile the good and bad that makes up who you are? Are you living a whole, entire, undiminished life in front of others?

Witnessing

Not long ago I had the experience (hopefully of a lifetime) of being a witness at a murder trial. I'm grateful that the case didn't involve anyone I knew personally; I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

As a Christian, I've use the word "witness" quite often. I've read books and attended classes on how to "witness". I've even taught lessons myself on witnessing. I thought I understood what it meant to be a good witness - until I actually had to be one.

My subpoena to witness came with a list of instructions. "Be polite and serious." "Direct your answers to the judge." "Do not argue with the lawyers or the judge." "Do not ignore your subpoena as it is a court order and must be obeyed. Failure to respond to your subpoena may result in a warrant being issued for your arrest."

I'm pretty sure God won't arrest me if I fail to witness as He has commanded (Acts 1:8), but some of the other instructions were quite applicable to my job as a witness for Christ:

• "You may believe that you don't know anything about the case, however, you may know something very important which may seem unimportant to you." 

You never know what small detail in your personal testimony will encourage someone else to accept Jesus as their Saviour.

• "In answering a question, do not guess. If you do not know the answer, say so."
• "Answer only the question you are asked."

Ah, yes, avoid running off at the mouth when trying to share your faith with someone!

Here are a few more insights I gained into how to be a great witness for Christ:

1. You don't have to know it all, just your part. Witnessing is simply telling what you saw and what you heard. Keep it personal and simple.

2. Prepare ahead of time - reread your "transcript". The night of the crime, I gave both written and oral statements to the police, which were transcribed and mailed to me prior to the trial. The prosecutor encouraged me to reread the transcripts and familiarize myself with the details prior to the trial. The Bible is one transcript that we should continually reread so that we're prepared to be good witnesses. It's also a great idea to write out your personal testimony and reread it occasionally. You'll remember key points better and sometimes gain new insights.

3. Pay attention not just to the immediate action, but what's happening on the peripheral. The night of the crime my attention was drawn to the victim, and consequently I missed some of the surrounding action - such as seeing the suspect flee the scene. (Keep that in mind if you're ever at a crime seen - watch the suspect, not the victim!) Sometimes the "main events" in our lives are as ugly as a murder scene, and we wonder how sharing those experiences will bring someone to faith in Christ. Instead of focusing on negative circumstances in your life, look at what God is doing surrounding those circumstances.

Being a witness is simpler than we make it out to be. It's just honestly telling what you have seen and heard and experienced as a follower of Christ. You don't need to know it all; you only need to relay your part in the grand story.

And one more thing: the results are up to God, not you. The jury acquitted the accused in my trial. Case adjourned.

Of Prime Ministers and God

I met the Prime Minister of Canada yesterday. And his wife. I shook hands with both of them and chatted with Laureen about flowers and the weather in Victoria, Edmonton and Ottawa. I told both Stephen and Laureen that I am praying for them, and they both said thank you. Yep, I'm on a first-name basis with them now. Not that they'd remember me today....

It's election season here in Canada, and that means that Mr. Harper is making his way across this country, giving speeches, making announcements, shaking hands and kissing babies. For whatever reason, he chose our little town as one of the places to gather the party faithful for a rally and photo op with the press. I'm not a "party faithful" but my hubby and I have connections with people who have connections, and 24 hours before the Harpers arrived, Andy received a phone call asking if we'd like to register to attend the rally.

That evening I planned what I would wear. Dress pants, of course, the most flattering ones I own, and a bright blue dress jacket - so I'd stand out in the crowd! I fretted over not having enough time to get my hair cut and colored. I carefully orchestrated my arrival time to maximize my chances of getting close to Mr. Harper. I texted and Twittered and Facebooked and let everyone know that I was going to meet the Prime Minister!


All that scurrying and worrying brought to mind the many times I've heard preachers and parents compare going to church with meeting a dignitary. The preacher says, "Get to church early, people, and sit in the front! Why, if you were meeting the President you sure would!" The parent says, "You must wear your best clothes to meet God at church. Why, if you were meeting the Queen of England, you'd dress up!" For a moment I felt guilty putting far more effort into preparing for a political rally than I do to attend God's house.


But my guilt was very short-lived because I remembered something: Stephen Harper isn't my friend. He doesn't know me. If I want to get his attention in the crowd or make a favorable impression, I have to work at it. The Harpers have a son and a daughter, and you can be sure that when Steve gets home, Benjamin and Rachel are not dressed to the nines. They don't politely shake his hand or try to make a good impression or vie for his attention. They just run and jump on him and call him "Dad."

That's the kind of relationship I want with the God of the universe, and thanks to Jesus, that's what I have. Jesus said I can call God "Father."He said that I can come just as I am. Jesus made it possible for me to come to God my Father with boldness. And for that, I am eternally grateful. I'm glad my Father doesn't care what I wear to meet Him. I'm glad I don't have to address Him any special way. And I'm especially glad that I don't have to wait in line for and hour and half just to speak to him for 15 seconds.

But it would be pretty cool to see people crowd to the front of the church an hour before it starts, waving banners and chanting, "God! God! God!'

Unboring Church

Church has a nasty reputation that's been following it around for years. It's dreaded by parents and pastors. With no statistics to back me up, I'll venture to say it's the number one excuse for not attending church. Children's and youth pastors spend hundreds - even thousands - of dollars every year to combat it. Even senior pastors work themselves into a frenzy with snappy sermon series accompanied by multi-media presentations and even free prizes! What is it that has everyone scrambling? The fear that church will be boring.

There's some validity to the concerns, of course. But it's not all the pastors' fault. No matter how hyper the presentation, you can't engage someone who doesn't want to be engaged. People in the pew (or the little chairs in the basement) have to take responsibility for how they feel when they walk out of the building.

Why do teenagers say the party at Brittany's house on Friday night is more "fun" than youth group? Why do children yell, "That was fun!" when leaving Chucky Cheese's but not after Sunday School? Why do adults choose to watch the hockey game on the big screen instead of attending prayer meeting? One word: participation.

You enjoy that in which you fully participate. Would that Friday night party be as much fun if you slumped on the couch in the corner all night with your hands in your pockets without talking to anyone? It's only fun because you're drinking and dancing and interacting fully with the people and activities around you. No kid is going to want to go back to Chucky's if he spends the whole time just sitting on a chair - no pizza, no skee ball, no tickets or prizes or soda pop. He only has fun if he takes part in all the activities that Chucky offers.

Want to make church "not boring?" Then stand up and sing. Clap. Raise your hands if that's the kind of church you're in. Tune in to every word the preacher says. Take notes even! Smile at everyone around you. Shake hands. Start conversations. Volunteer to help wherever help is needed. Participate!

Because it's really not the church's fault that it has a reputation for being boring. It's your fault for choosing to be bored.

Why I Don't Want My Kids To Be Happy

You read that right: I don't really care if my kids are happy.

Raising happy kids seems to be the hallmark of parental success. If you ask parents what they want out of life for their kids, they're likely to say, "I just want them to be happy." Kids think it's their right to be happy, and they aren't afraid to play the happiness card to capitalize on their parents' guilt. What parent of a teenager hasn't heard, "But, Mom, don't you want me to be happy?" after saying no to their teen's latest whim?

What's wrong with wanting happiness for your kids?

1. Happiness encourages selfish kids. Children who are raised to be happy grow up to be adults who think it's all about them. They become parents and spouses enamoured with satisfying their own desires rather than sacrificing for their family. Pouting and spouting become their choice of communication when they don't get their own way. 

2. Happiness discourages commitment.  If happiness is the main goal in life, what happens when your adult children don't feel happy any more? When your adult daughter says she wants out of her marriage because she's "just not happy" in it any more, is that really what you want for her? Jobs you don't like, people you don't like, weather you don't like - you must learn to stick it out anyway. 

3. Happiness is based on external rewards. Happiness is temporary. It's based on circumstances rather than an inner sense of well-being. I want something more substantial for my kids. I want them to experience true joy, which comes from obeying God's will for their lives, despite their circumstances.

4. Happiness displaces obedience.  What I really want is for my kids to know the deep satisfaction and joy of being in an intimate, loving, obedient relationship with God. Hebrews 12:2 tells us that Jesus endured the cross because of the joy He knew awaited Him afterwards. Jesus obeyed and experienced long-lasting results rather than substituting the instant gratification of happiness for true joy.

There's more to raising kids than making them happy. I want them to grow up to make others happy and to experience the joy that comes from doing what is right instead of what is easy. 

Redeemer God

This morning the pastor prayed for people who were hurting or in difficult situations "through no fault of their own." That seems to be a common sentiment within the Church. We naturally feel sympathy toward those who are innocent victims - the AIDS orphan, the woman whose husband left her, the family whose house burned down. But my thoughts went to another group of hurting people - those who have brought the pain upon themselves.

Every Sunday we are surrounded by people who have made bad choices that have resulted in misery and pain in their own life. Yes, it's likely that their actions have caused heartache for others as well - and those are the people we automatically empathize with. But the one who caused the pain is hurting too. Does God care as much for them as He does for their victims?

Absolutely yes! God's heart aches for the man who made a bad business decision and faces bankruptcy. God reaches out to comfort the mother whose child was taken away because of her lifestyle choices. Jesus longs to embrace the teenage couple who are drowning in guilt because they had sex last night. Whether your pain was caused by a poor choice or blatant sin, God is just as close to you and just as loving toward you as He is to those who are hurting "through no fault of their own."

God doesn't say, "You made your bed, you lay in it." He isn't standing by to judge you or condemn you. He isn't waiting for you to make it all right before He will comfort you and heal your hurt. His response to the Christian who has sinned is no less loving than His response to someone turning to Him for the very first time. He compassionately cares for the "other woman" with the same tenderness as He shows to the devastated wife of the unfaithful husband.

The Bible is full of examples of God as our Redeemer - One who restores the sinner and blesses them. One who comforts and forgives and guides and advises and watches over the one who has strayed and then returned. King David is such an example. In Psalm 32:5-8 he expresses his relief and joy in confessing his sin and experiencing God's forgiveness. He encourages everyone to do the same. David said, "All my guilt is gone....You are my hiding place, you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory." And God responds, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you."

If you're hurting and you brought it all on yourself, God wants you to ask for His comfort. He wants you to reach out for healing from your pain. He wants to be your Redeemer, no matter whose fault it is.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Patchwork Quilt

I read another article today by another woman who seems to have a clear, firm idea of God's calling on her life. She tossed around the Christian word of the day: "missional". She's living a "missional" life, learning to say no to the things that don't fit with her calling so that she can focus on what she knows God has called her to do. Yep, that's a lot of "callings" and "missionals". She used "purpose" and "direction" too.

My first responses were frustration and embarrassment. How come she (and apparently so many others) have such a clear, definitive idea of what God created them to do - and I'm still not entirely sure? Did I miss the mark? Within seconds, though, the Holy Spirit brought my thoughts back to what I do know about my life: I am to obey God in every moment of my day, whether or not I can see some big purpose in them.

Since childhood I've been a spontaneous person with varied interests. There's rarely been any one thing or one topic that has consumed my life for more than a few months. I'd be more likely to write a book of essays on many topics than a series of books on one topic. And sometimes I like that about myself! I think I would become bored with a life focused on just one central theme, or if I became an "expert" in just one area. God created me this way, and that's how He uses me. Instead of revealing one big purpose for the entirety of my life, He challenges me to trust Him with each moment.

God made me like a patchwork quilt - a little of this, a little of that. He somehow sews together all these experiences and pieces of my life, and I'm trusting that in the end, it will all make sense - I will make sense! As I live my life moment by moment, it can seem a bit jumbled and non-sensical. But my calling - my mission - is to obey God in every moment and trust Him to create a useful (and hopefully beautiful!) patchwork quilt of my life.